Just because
Paramore- Brick by Boring Brick
Posted by Lams on 8:35 PM
Do you have to ruin everything for me?
Posted by Lams on 12:36 AM
Now you say I cant dance? Like wtf? Bitch, NO Im not quitting dance and I dont care what you say. I love to dance and Im good at it and thats the only time people are assured of my existance, and you're not taking that away from me. Two more fucking years, I swear, then you are going to hit the worst days of your life and you will feel horrible, but I wont give a fuck.
Fuck it. I should just be quiet because I dont help at all.
Posted by Lams on 3:09 PM
Seriously Im hating this son of a bitch Omar now. Fuck him. He pisses me off so much. What does he know? He knows nothing at all and still goes on talking shit. I try to stand up for someone I care about and it doesnt fucking make a difference to anyone. Fine Im the bad guy.. Im sorry -.- Are you happy?
And also, so called friends? Yeah this is to the people who fucking made the effort to get so close to me that I got attached and now that Im not there, I dont matter anymore. Thank you.
This is why I hate my 'diplobrat' life. Fuck it all.
Nothing I ever do makes any difference to anyone, so I will just stop trying and save my own energy.
Yes, Im a selfish bitch now and yes, I'm weak...I am aware of that. Deal with it. Environment shaped me that way. YES I still stand firmly by my arguement. Sue me bastard.
She doesnt deserve this.
Posted by Lams on 2:52 AM
Noura, I love you and Im always here with you. You dont deserve this pain, or hurt, and you have the right to be pissed off. He needs to show he cares, he needs to treat you like you're the best in the world, because you really are babe. You're worth risking it all. If I could run away, I would and I would come to be with you and wipe your tears. You are my bestie babe and I hate to see you so hurt like this often :( I really wish I could make this all stop. I would do anything to gain that power :(Just know that I love you and I miss you and I'm always here for you no matter what<3333
While I'm on it, my heart goes out to a few other friends too:
Kj, Ella, Banita, Albie, Sib, Ibige, Leena, Minae, Tash, Farzana, Neela,..<333
IB2- I've found great friends<3
Im always here for you guys, guaranteed^^ and thank you for being here for me too(:
<333 you guys.
I love how you love me and say you care...but honey, who are you kidding? You really dont.
Posted by Lams on 12:23 AM
Injected with your fury inside me,I burn until my heart turns grey,
my eyes turn black and I slowly fade away.
This hate you send me
could only last so long,
but Im flinching for air as this all goes on.
Dark and black. You hold me down,
you hold my hand to kill me now.
You smile, you're eyes still so pure,
with shining guilt but you would never know;
How your angst and pretense makes me scared,
and makes me miss when you were there.
You used to be my life and soul,
but now've you managed to leave me cold.
So thank you God, for this dear experience,
and for all the other times you've inflicted this pain.
To make me feel like I belong,
then snatch this thing I had called home.
Once, twice, thrice the charm,
I guess the first two weren't bad enough but this time, trust me,
it really did get me,
it did me harm.
Vaccinated and will not be dying of any pig disease.Hopefully.
Posted by Lams on 7:34 PM
This morning I took the swine flu vaccination while Patti held my hand ^^ It actually didnt hurt at all but my arm was a bit numb the whole day. Then I had dance practice and we came up with great moves :) *so proud*But I should have realized that I shouldnt stress my arm so much because an hour later my arm started hurting like fuck. Seriously, it feels like it will fall off any minute and I'm not exaggerating >.<
But apparently this is nothing, and the pain will increase a thousand times more tomorrow and will stay like that for the next 3-4 days...along with fever -.-
But HEY, at least after all this, I will be immune to the pig disease and will not die from it ^^ well lets hope so :)
Btw, today is EID. It doesnt feel like Eid here. Eid Mubarak anyways (:
I want a rocket!!! No wait I want a submarine. No, wait... GAH. I DONT KNOW WHAT I WANT ANYMORE >.<
This is confusing -.- Basically whats left inside my skull is the remains of a brain I used to have. Its all deep fried and shit now because I try to analyze things too much -.- Confusion is my only friend now :(
No joking, I HAVE FRIENDS^^ but yes, confusion is one of them. Although, Im not sure if its more of a friend or an enemy...or maybe just an acquaintance? Maybe not really anything but is still there making an impact on every day of my life? gah I dont know. Confusion confuses me. Yes I said it and it makes sense >.<
Okay that was a rather pointless yet somehow interesting debate with myself that really just ended up nowhere. Gahhh. Okay.
Now I shall go because I have better things to do than this. Okay I lied. I dont. However, I can try to find better things to do than this.
Oh look, Noura is back from her food hunt^^ I shall now resume chatting with her on msn x)
Ttyl<333
My five minute presentation on 'Brave New world' for english class.
Posted by Lams on 8:51 PM
I only put this up here, because I somehow agree with this statement that I chose to present..and also I was too lazy to open up Microsoft Word so I did the assignment here x)Truth and Happiness cannot coexist at most times:
In 'Brave New World', it is suggested that truth and happiness do not coexist in the 'One World State'. The characters of this story try a variety of methods to avoid and deceive themselves of their situations. In other words, they prefer self-delusion.
The wide usage of soma in the 'One World State' is probably the best example for this statement. Soma is a drug which replaces reality with happy hallucinations. This drug is promoted by the 'government' of the 'One World State' so that its citizens would not be aware of their issues or the fact that they are limited from certain rights that another would find 'normal', such as the permission to fall in love.
Also the 'World State' 'conditions' its citizens so well from the beginning that they automatically have the need for soma when they feel that something is not right. They do not think twice about it. They are also 'conditioned' to be aware of things they shouldn't do so that they do not have to face such displeasing situations in the first place.
For example, Lenina is such a perfect example for someone who lives in the 'World State'. She always takes big dosages of soma to relieve her of stress or misery or even confusion such as the time Bernard took her to the sea in the moonlight by helicopter and she was stressed because such 'romantic' things werent considered normal in their world. Her first and ultimate solution was to take soma.
John's view of the world through Shakespeare's words are also a form of self-delusion. He views Lenina as Juliet first and when he sees her in the 'World State' she becomes an 'impudent strumpet' to him. The truth of her behavior was unpleasing to John because he hasnt been conditioned in such ways.
We can also use Bernard Marx as an example. He is one of the few that prefer to face reality sober even though he is miserable. This shows how although he is aware of the truth, he cannot simply accept it and be satisfied.
*This is not a small cut* Im a Fake-The Used
Posted by Lams on 1:08 AM
Exactly my feelings at the moment.
Posted by Lams on 9:20 PM
'Sometimes, it feels like you're out of control of everything and there is pressure coming at you from all sides and it feels like you're sinking into some deep ocean and you cant breathe. Its like you need something to pour your pain out of the concealed follicles of your body.'Sometimes you need some sort of pain just to make all the emotional things less hurtful and less effective in a painful way.
You're venom through my veins..??
Posted by Lams on 8:05 PM
You run through my veinslike venom from a snake,
killing off all senses I have.
Poisoning my mind,
clouding my eyes,
so I'm blind towards everything else.
Drenched in my pain,
All other sorrows seem less.
They fade to the back as I cry out.
You're ruining me whole.
You're killing my soul.
You're dangerous for me,
I should have known.
Dancedd^^
Posted by Lams on 6:24 PM
Today I had my first dance rehearsal shit from synergy and we decided we're going to perform at the Wintershow hosted by The Global Group :)So we basically have two weeks to come up with and perfect this dance and we're going to have to work our asses off but Im excited :D
Thats pretty much it for now.
It's been shit lately.
Posted by Lams on 10:57 PM
Recently, I've been having problems breathing. Not normal asthma problems, but I feel as if I'm being invisibly strangled. In one way its kind of serene and peaceful. Right now, I seriously, feel like going off into a coma. I just dont want anything now except solitude and mindfucking blankness however its confusing because although I want solitude, I want someone to alteast try and reach me. You know, to prove that someone's out there. I know Im not a horrible person. I know I have tons of friends who care and shit but for some reason lately, I just need some proof or someone to show that they are willing to break down walls. I dont know. Too much to ask.
Its probably because I've always just been so blind towards people. I've been so damn innocent by trying to always please people that I always forgot to ever live for myself or never thought about if they would do the same for me and I didnt know either because they havent been put into those situations.
I just feel so disgusted about how selfish people can be. I've always known that, but it just hit me now.
I get asked " Are you okay? You seem different lately," and I just nod and say " Yeah, Im fine. Just tired," and that is that. Its because I cant tell these people about what is REALLY going through my mind. I cant tell anyone. Partly because I dont trust anyone but myself(and Norz) and also because they dont fucking understand. They really dont and I, myself, dont understand how they are so oblivious. Some people are just so fucking cheery and optimistic about life. It really does sicken me how some people can live a whole life without ever reacting to the bad shit. As if they turn an innocent eye towards all the bad because its easier to pretend like you're unaware of it. No, I dont hate people. I'm actually a people person, trust me. My thoughts just dont like some certain ideas.
Its like my personal thoughts and my behavior are two different people. Inside, Im dying to scream my lungs out and outside I have a smile on and Im there in the middle of everything happenning(almost always).
Anyways, Im done with this mindfuck now and I really doubt any of the above actually made sense, but sometimes(most of the times) things dont make sense. They are what they are but we dont know why and how they became to be. TOK right thurrr. x'D
So yeah. Think about that. I guess. Or dont if you dont please to. I really dont give a fuck.
Omg my eternal song. I shall die with this song in my heart <3
Posted by Lams on 8:53 PM
Today
Posted by Lams on 4:27 PM
So, I started the day with being pissed off because of a certain someone and how she makes my life hell everyday. The usual, you know? Then I slept again, I needed the sleep, but when I woke up my eyes were swollen. So then, I took a shower with 48 degrees celsius heated water. Yes, it literally burned my skin. Scientifically water at 48 degrees should completely burn your skin after 5 minutes. I showered for half an hour but after 10 minutes I mixed in some cold water. Im not that crazy lol. It made me feel weightless and helped me relax. However, I didnt like the end result of it leaving my skin bright red -.-
Then, I read 'No one writes to the colonel' and finished the book : ACCOMPLISHMENT.
Then I did some sit ups for half and hour. My stomach is now burning and in extreme pain, but I needed the work out, I suppose.
Now Im blogging about about my day, as if it was so important.
Now Im done.
I feel dizzy and weak. Im going to go get some vitamin water x')
Sometimes, its just better when I keep my mouth shut. Actually, almost all the time.
Posted by Lams on 10:53 PM
People always say how locking things up inside you hurts you and saying it out relieves you. Its not true. I just said somethings out loud that would have been better off left inside me and now I feel worse. I horrible. I dont know why. I shouldnt, because the situation is somewhat normal, I guess, but I still do feel bad. Maybe its just the recent amount of shit going on that triggered this. I mean this hasnt been the greatest month of my life.
But whatever, I'll stop now because there is no point in writing this. So dumb.
Oh yeah, Noura called me today, she was worried and she called me on my cell and it felt so nice. I havent heard her voice in 7 years!! It made me feel loved <3
I love you Noura Misbah(:
Oh yeah, Noura called me today, she was worried and she called me on my cell and it felt so nice. I havent heard her voice in 7 years!! It made me feel loved <3
I love you Noura Misbah(:
All Around Me-Flyleaf
Posted by Lams on 3:17 PM
A very short list of randomness mindfuck in my head atm.
Posted by Lams on 9:25 PM
I LOVE NOURA-point number one. I WANT BEN AND JERRY'S COOKIE DOUGH ICECREAM-point number two.
YOU SMELL GOOD-point number three.
Btw, today I discovered then I can waste hours on ranting on about nothing specific whatsoever and I thought I needed to share, so tomorrow, I shall try to upload a video of me doing so. If not, well it will happen one day :)
Amira must die.
Posted by Lams on 9:11 PM
Amira is a fucking whore and she needs to crawl in a hole and stay there. Enough said.
Im back..but I could have lasted longer-.- so do not underestimate me x)
Posted by Lams on 6:32 PM
So yea. Facebook is back into my life now but only so soon because Magz wrote me an email and how I made her fb account so we can stay in touch but then I ditched. So I reactivated it just for her..because I love her no matter how many times I tell her to go stand in a corner or she hits me with MY mochachino bottle<3..oh also I love her no matter how many nightmares she gave me by wearing her horse-riding spandex that weekend o.O Just kidding, you looked super sexy my dear(:LOVE YOUS<3 xoxoxoxox
Everybody's fool-Evanescence...and more
Posted by Lams on 4:14 PM
44 straight hours without sleep
Posted by Lams on 6:55 PM
I feel disgusted and sick. I feel tired and cranky. I feel disappointed and like I'm a disappointment myself. I feel like burning my insides. I feel like the world should end any moment just because I'm so fucking fed up of everything. Goddammit. I feel. I dont know what that was all about. Im just sick and tired and exhausted and my body needs sleep, but NO my mind doesnt seem to agree-.-
For the past two nights I've had incredible trouble trying to put my mind at ease and fall asleep. It just doesnt seem to happen. For the 30 minutes of sleep that I did manage to get last night, I had the worst nightmare ever and apparently I started crying in my sleep and then my mom came in to check in and that's when I woke up and I wasnt able to sleep since.
I dont even remember the details of the nightmare, except for the fact that there was a fire and someone had died and there were tons of injured people everywhere. The dream was all blurry and confusing but I remember running, trying to look for someone. I dont know... thats messed up shit right there but it was still bad enough to make me cry in my sleep and that rarely ever happens(although I get horrible nightmares all the time)...
Maybe I should try sleeping pills tonight.
Sleep. I NEED some.
Posted by Lams on 1:33 AM
I woke up at 1:30 pm on sunday morning, well afternoon, because I was so damn tired of everything that it made me sleep. However, I havent been able to sleep since. Around 27 hours, I've been awake, for no reason.I tried so fucking hard to sleep last night but ended up reading MLIA because I just couldnt -.-
The only sleep I got was during the 30 minute car ride from my house to my school in the morning, but that totally fucked my neck because I was leaning against the window while sleeping. It still hurts:(
Now its 1:27 am. I tried to sleep early today, around 10 pm, so I could catch up on some sleep from last night too, but I cant sleep:/
I just have this strange agitation within me that doesnt let me sleep anymore. Fuck it, I need my sleep. Otherwise I'm going to start becoming a cranky bitch and probably will lose all my friends like that -.-
I actually did get to sleep for like 5minutes around 11 but then 'THE' nightmare came in and woke me up -.-
....Thank you.
Get over yourself you fat whore---on behalf of Noura and I(:
Posted by Lams on 8:46 PM
Well yes, where to start? OH yeah : 'You are a motherfucking compulsive, obsessive, paranoid, whore that has the urge to control every fucking thing in the world at all times. You think you're so great, and so perfect.. well you're not, my bigfatass YOU'RE NOT>.< and your bigfatass needs lipo -.- You are the most irritating, annoying, uncaring little pissy I know, and also, might I add that NO ONE FUCKING LIKES YOU -.-'OH BTW, if anyone cares at all : I've been ONE DAY sober of Facebook (: yipee
First half is of why Noura is the best person I've known, and second half is of why I deactivated FB- Im not open to further questions. Thank you
Posted by Lams on 11:15 PM
FOR NOURA: Although Noura has been my best friend since I can remember, I just realized that she is the only thing I have thats close to family, or atleast the true meaning of it, you know: always there, protective, goes out of their way to make sure you never get hurt, loves you unconditionally, believes in you, encourages you, and even put you down at times so you strive to be better. She is like my guardian angel maybe, but definitely my better half<3She is all those things, she is the one and only best friend and family I have and I would die before I let anything hurt her too. It works that way.
Just letting her know that<3
Oh, btw, I deactivated my FB account, yes. I dont know if I'll be back or not but I'm off it for now. I needed to block off the rest of the world for a while, get away from people being all up in your face all the time. I guess isolation appealed to me? Not all the way though, just through facebook, which all of you know took up most of my time. So instead of FBing every 5 seconds now, I will be active and I will do other things that will help me get my mind of some shit other than going on to FB to occupy myself and seeing things that remind me of something else ( things I dont want to be reminded of..atleast not for now)
So yea, dont miss me too much. Well actually, yes, miss me, make me feel better ^^
gnite
I shat out more poetry while you shat me lies x)-Lamiya
Posted by Lams on 7:00 PM
You burnt my tongue, with one single kiss.
You set me on fire,
as we continued like this.
My hand turns black,
with your harsh cutting touch,
It runs up my veins,
until I'm cut off enough.
Dead, and silent,
you hold me so close.
Promises and dreams,
seem to soak through my clothes.
Shameless but guilty,
I look in your eyes.
You tell me you love me,
then add "It's a lie"
Vanilla Twilight and Snowgazing...someday..hopefully<3
Posted by Lams on 3:57 PM
I really want to just lay on the grass and watch the snowflakes fall on me while the sky gets darker each second. I want the snow to be able to clear my mind. I love snow. Something so pure about it.I just so badly want to feel the snow.
Ibige told me he would take me someday......so he better >.<
I'm counting on it lol
and also, it better snow soon<3because this amazingly dull weather is killing me.
So yea, btw, I really like this song. If I do end up snow gazing by myself (although I really hope I dont-.-), I will put this song on repeat and lay there the whole night ^^
I also just feel like going swimming in the lake in the middle of the night for no reason at all x) but I doubt that I'll actually do that one unless I feel like freezing myself to death.
Just the snow is fine for now(:
<3
My Norz- the best person on the face of this earth
Posted by Lams on 2:34 PM
Okay so I just read her blog, and she had written a poem for me, to make me feel better. I cant say that anyone else has done anything sweeter for me... ever. I love her so much. This is one girl I know that will be with me till the day I die and vice versa <3She was also the one who decided to act like a total bitch to me on my birthday in 5rd grade so she could plan a surprise party in one of the classrooms. She even got our art teacher to bake a cake for me and it looked like a frog! I used to love frogs back then ^^
How I love you Noura Misbah.. you have no idea...and people, please do not take this the lesbian way -.-
<3 <3 <3 x 385738658133333673496745876786789
OH yeah, she also beat up a certain guy because he made me angry, HAHAHAHHAHAHA x) I repeat, I love you Noura Misbah<3
'Even amongst all the world,
You are the few that really matter.
You are:
The one I would die to hug right now,
The one I love to laugh with,
The one I like to cry with,
The one true best friend.
Lamiya loves Noura'
I want to dance...
Posted by Lams on 2:15 PM
I want to dance. I've been trying to find a place where I can join a dance group and actually perform. I love to perform. It feels like that is the only time that people really actually notice me. Other than that, Im just a person ..you know? So yea I want to dance. I love to dance.
I found the Synergy group in our school and they said they would be happy to have me in their dance group and they'll let me know when they start practicing again^^ yippee. Finally I can stop being a good for nothing and get home late because I actually have things to do^^
Anyways, I have to go read Norz's blog. so Ttyl? <3
....
Posted by Lams on 10:45 PM
Its a shame how my life seems to get lonelier everyday.
Atleast now I know, that 'care', 'family','concern', and most of all 'love': they are dead to me. Those words dont exist.
Love doesnt exist. Its an exaggerated word that no one really knows the meaning of. Its just so easy to throw around that word now. Well I stopped. No more 'love', but if I ever do find it..if Im ever lucky enough to find it, then I'll let you know.
I hate you
Posted by Lams on 4:19 PM
One and half years. Then I'll be gone. And you will miss me, but I wont miss you.
#$%^%$*^%&@$& IM SO FUCKING SICK OF YOU
Posted by Lams on 3:06 PM
You do not have the fucking right to control what I do, or say, or think, or wear. That's my power, my authority. My fucking life, which I absolutely hate atm >.< You had your chance and your time, now fucking give me mine. Im not just someone you can 'care' for when you want and not give a shit at other times. Pick one and stick with it. Oh yeah, Ps. Give me my fucking life back.
This was the last chance for you because now you can be sure that we wont have ANY fucking ties whatsoever.
Im just anxiously waiting for the day and you can dread it in the meantime.
Die my inner innocence...the world promotes fake happiness and it never happens. Its easier to cry in the dark side, atleast you are aware of the shit in life.
Posted by Lams on 11:33 PM
You're swallowing knives
while Im dancing in your heart
Im prancing, and playing
while you bleed apart.
Im the life that lives inside.
The one you try so hard to deny.
You'd do anything to erase me from you.
So you can enjoy your painful cries.
But I wont go, not now, not so soon.
Im here to stay and heal you for as much as I could.
Write love on your hand day
Posted by Lams on 5:38 PM
I want to get a tattoo like that on my wrist^^Well yea, today was not much. Just had Swedish and Social. Skipped English for Synergy. Day ended badly with my mind in a state of anger/depression.
Nothing big.
I was just wondering about how I ever gave you the power over my emotions? When did I give you the right to control it? I never did. Yet you still hold an authority over how I feel. My feelings change depending on you. Thats fucked up.
The past few days have been so PMSie for me. I dont know why. I just constantly kept on changing my emotions. One minute I'm happy, then the other I was suffering from confusion over why my life is the way it is...but whatever, Im not complaining now. Not now, not today. Maybe later. Today I feel like locking my emotions within me.
Oh yeah, today is the Placebo concert. A lot of my friends went; some have been standing in line since 4 am.
I couldnt go. Im broke and tickets were sold out. Great-.-
Guess I will just sit at home, blog, and listen to Placebo on youtube...and maybe try to occupy myself with something to get my mind off how you effect me when you really shouldnt.
Oh yeah, Im going to join the Synergy dance group. Dance is the only way I can really express myself other than blogging of course. I love dance. It helps me get out my frustration or regrets.
Its there when Im happy, sad, crazy...whichever. Its like I can tell my story through dance somehow.
Fall to pieces...I really do just want to sit and cry in front of you sometimes, but you're never there.
Posted by Lams on 5:12 PM
Guitar^^
Posted by Lams on 1:11 AM
So I forgot to tell you guys:I had my first guitar lesson from Kai on Tuesday and it was me, Asy, and Tugce who were learning from him. Natalie was also there but to enlighten us with her piano skills^^
Anyways, Kai's guitar..is..so..mofucking..AWESOME<3 True rockstar:)
So he tried teaching us some chords, some were successful some werent :/
but then he ended up teaching us the Harry Potter music<3 LOVE
Then he tried teaching me and Asy 'Crazy Train'- Ozzy Osbourne, but yea we're going to need to practice alot of other shit before we come back to that...well atleast I will o.O
^^ <3
Most random asthma ever o.O
Posted by Lams on 10:13 PM
Damn all of the sudden I had an asthma attack a few minutes ago. It was so random. I havent had an attack in months, maybe even years. Dont even know where I got this one from. Like wtf, Im sitting at my computer. How is that supposed to get me all asthmatic?! -.- Maybe Im just getting fat and thats clogging up my arteries or something x) o.O Could be. Anyways, yea no big deal, had my puffer, so Im fine now. Im just a little doozy and lightheaded but still alive to some of your disappointments.
I think I should start running regularly again. That would probably be the best way for me to get my asthma adjusted to the temperature and environment here.
Maybe soccer. I want to do soccer but I dont know any details about the soccer practices in our school>.< gahh. fuckshit.
Well yea, the whole point of this blog was to let you guys know that I had the most random asthma attack today.
I dont know why though.. Maybe its just to see if anyone reads this and gives a shit about it? o.O who knows.
Well yea, do what you must. Im going to go back to chatting with my sexxyy bitch CHLOE<3
^^
Disappointment..
Posted by Lams on 7:28 PM
Basically I really looked forward to something (which I should never do because it always ends up bad)....and I was disappointed in the end (nothing new)Anyways, I havent blogged so much in the past two days because my parents were out of town and I was staying over at a friend's. It was fun I suppose. Well yea, it was fun. It was a nice feeling, to know that someone cares.
I've been having a great time for the past two weeks (with some off days in the middle), but I guess the streak had to end someday?
Oh well, life right? I should get used to it by now.
For some reason, I feel extremely crappy about myself (thats not new either), and I just wish I could step into someone else's skin for a day. No wait, I actually dont because then I would return to my normal self again later and I would feel worse for not being able to live that life forever.
Anyways, yea I feel shitty. I feel of no worth, no personality, nothing. Im just a little useless fuck in the world. Thats what I feel like right now. Like a waste of skin.
People tell me that I should always be grateful. Well here is my answer for those people :
Its hard sometimes. Being grateful isnt the only emotion in the world. Sad, depressed, angry, confused: they exist to be experienced as well. Some experience them more than others and that is how the world balances. So you go be grateful for your life, while I will handle mine the way I want. I will be happy when I want and I will be an ungrateful bitchy depressed little fuck up when I want.
Let it snow-Lamiya. done today*
Posted by Lams on 7:09 PM
Let it melt through my veins
Could it stop time for now?
Make it numb out the pain.
With its cold cutting touch,
Can it scar me for life,
Pierce through the core,
Like I felt by your eyes?
Wish it would freeze me to death,
Make this all go away.
When did I lose myself so much,
that I dont know what to say?
Make this winter memorable for us.
Let it stab through their hearts.
Let it free me eternally.
Make me free from the hurt.
You trodded down the forgotten path:)-Lamiya*old poem*
Posted by Lams on 7:08 PM
The streets followed straight into the core of my heart.
Forbidden, Forgettable, Cut off,
They lay there numb and pigmented.
Deserted, they we're eroding away,
The wind picked up pieces as if signalling my heart is not meant to be reached.
It snowed and it snowed and all hope withered away.
A beat...pause...another beat;
Slowed down each second.
The final days had come.
It had decayed into the grey,
Waiting.
Just when all faith was betraying me,
A footstep woke me up.
Closer and closer, I heard your approach.
At last, your breath so clear
shared it's fresh air within me.
Red roots came out and beat..beat..beat..
My senses had come to life again.
Just when all faith was betraying me,
You trodded down the forgotten roads
& you revived me.
YOU revived me.
YOU.
You-Lamiya*old poem*
Posted by Lams on 7:07 PM
Its like a broken china doll.Precious once, but now is lost.
It used to smile, It used to laugh.
But now all is gone.
Like the keys on the grandpiano,
Used to make a beautiful tune.
Now its rusting, like a lover
Waiting for you.
Patch the pieces of the glass rose,
Almost as if it would fix us.
Glue the memories back together,
But there's not enough.
Sing the old song that we both wrote,
That one under the stars,
Hoping it would bring you back,
Back from the far.
We dont last forever</3-Lamiya*old poem*
Posted by Lams on 7:06 PM
Rusted away like one day we all shall.
Her pigment faded as she turned grey.
Unnoticed and silent she went away.
First, her cheeks started to crack and her lips lost their lust.
Then, her eyes lost their shine as soon we all must.
Ragged and torn the dress that she wore.
She was so beautiful, but now she is gone.
I am nothing but my own shadow-Lamiya *old poem*
Posted by Lams on 7:06 PM
Drenched in darkness,I walk my path towards the unknown.
I am my own company.
My life, my soul slips right through me.
My breath stops, and my heart waits.
I am nothing but my own shadow.
Change of seasons? Im better than you. - Lamiya.*old poem*
Posted by Lams on 7:05 PM
So long my big expectations.
The wind blows by and erases my memory:
The past.
It stops; My heart, just...
Stops.
No more love, no more you and me.
Just me and my thoughts.
Alone in solitude.
The rest of the world fades
into the puddles,
as it rains and washes my emotions away.
Your coldness;
It suddenly freezes. It snows over me.
All white. All blank.
Like my words to describe you.
Snow seems so pure, so innocent.
Just like you did.
Until I embraced you
and you froze me with your wintriness.
You are ice.
But now its spring time.
You no longer haunt me.
My mind refreshes.
My heart starts beating.
New fragrances, new colors, vivid imaginations.
Nothing like you.
Therefore you cant be here.
You cant stay.
Your harsh words;
Those last words.
You're unfaithfulness followed by your apology.
They no longer effect me.
Im free.
Free from your lies, your ties, your nonstop(simply put:) Bullshit.
So Good bye 'Forever'
So long big expectations.
I deserve better than that.
Love dies in the end...
Posted by Lams on 7:48 PM
Breaking Benjamin - What Lies Beneath..
<\3
GET BETTER LOVE<3
Posted by Lams on 7:19 AM
Oki, so my desi sis, Kj, has the viral fever since sunday night. I dont have much details about it though and if you dont know what the virul fever is, then go look it up on Google -.- :)But whatever the case, this post is just to say :
GET BETTER VAG:) and i miss you like fuckshit on weed x)
xxxxxx.
MY TWIN<3
Posted by Lams on 12:28 AM
We were just talking about what we like when guys kiss you or hold you and its like we're the same people speaking I swear. Now I officially believe that a part of my heart is in her and a part of her's is in me :)
Always has been..since 3rd grade babe <3 ^^
*Shitty picture, but full of memories ^^ ->
*Shitty picture, but full of memories ^^ ->
such a *Lamiya* moment -.-
Posted by Lams on 7:27 PM
Okay so I got home at 5 today and I started working on my Bio lab right away. But I couldnt concentrate because I was so tired so I decided "oki, i'll sleep for 15 minutes max,just to get some rest"....I woke up TWO HOURS later : at 7 pm and because Im so fucking blind, I looked at the time on my cell and thought it was am so I figured that I slept the whole night and it was Tuesday morning. I started panicking like a little fuck, that I didnt finish my bio lab because even after doing graphs on excel for years, I FORGOT HOW TO NOW -.-....years worth of ICT for no use whatsoever. Anyways so yea, I was like packing my bag and shit and then a friend texted me and thats when I realized it was still monday evening LOL.
Yea :/
Sadly thats not the first time I panicked for no good reason whatsoever :(
Paramore
Posted by Lams on 7:48 PM
I love the new album 'Brand New Eyes' by Paramore. Its so much more relate able to life.. in my opinion(:
'The only exception' = <3
Create a MySpace Playlist at MixPod.com
Paramore - The Only Exception lyrics {Verse 1} When I was younger I saw my daddy cry And curse at the wind He broke his own heart And I watched As he tried to reassemble it And my momma swore that She would never let herself forget And that was the day that I promised I'd never sing of love If it does not exist But darlin' {Chorus} You are the only exception You are the only exception You are the only exception You are the only exception {Verse 2} Maybe I know, somewhere Deep in my soul That love never lasts And we've got to find other ways To make it alone Or keep a straight face And I've always lived like this Keeping a comfortable, distance And up until now I had sworn to myself that I'm content With loneliness Because none of it was ever worth the risk {Chorus} You are the only exception You are the only exception You are the only exception You are the only exception {Bridge} I've got a tight grip on reality, but I can't Let go of what's in front of me here I know you're leaving in the morning, when you wake up Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream {Chorus} You are the only exception You are the only exception You are the only exception You are the only exception [X2] And I'm on my way to believing Oh, and I'm on my way to believing Lyrics | Paramore lyrics - The Only Exception lyrics
omg white wedding<3
Posted by Lams on 12:59 PM
Dude, Im so getting married the day after KJ's and she will be my maid of honor <3 We decided we're both going to have a beach wedding in AUSTRALIA and we're going to get married in......drum roll.... BIKINIS x)Im def wearing a black one. I dont care LOL
SO yea....
That is our wedding plan :) It better work >.<
lt;3 LOVE YOU SMEXXIII-KJ :)
You rock my world * o.O lol you know what I mean
In your eyes I lost my place...<3
Posted by Lams on 12:30 PM
