Just because
Disappointment..
Posted by Lams on 7:28 PM
Basically I really looked forward to something (which I should never do because it always ends up bad)....and I was disappointed in the end (nothing new)Anyways, I havent blogged so much in the past two days because my parents were out of town and I was staying over at a friend's. It was fun I suppose. Well yea, it was fun. It was a nice feeling, to know that someone cares.
I've been having a great time for the past two weeks (with some off days in the middle), but I guess the streak had to end someday?
Oh well, life right? I should get used to it by now.
For some reason, I feel extremely crappy about myself (thats not new either), and I just wish I could step into someone else's skin for a day. No wait, I actually dont because then I would return to my normal self again later and I would feel worse for not being able to live that life forever.
Anyways, yea I feel shitty. I feel of no worth, no personality, nothing. Im just a little useless fuck in the world. Thats what I feel like right now. Like a waste of skin.
People tell me that I should always be grateful. Well here is my answer for those people :
Its hard sometimes. Being grateful isnt the only emotion in the world. Sad, depressed, angry, confused: they exist to be experienced as well. Some experience them more than others and that is how the world balances. So you go be grateful for your life, while I will handle mine the way I want. I will be happy when I want and I will be an ungrateful bitchy depressed little fuck up when I want.
