Just because

I miss you guys</3

Posted by Lams on 4:55 AM

All of the sudden, I am missing my friends back in Nepal terribly! I just read a wall post and it made tears stream down my face(so random) but I guess it shows that I love them and I miss them like crazy and I wish I were back there with you guys right now! Im having a flashback moment from the first days in 8th grade( khushi khushi, etc) to the very last days in 10th grade, during our IGCSES and our Kakani trip. You guys helped make me who I am and Im so thankful to you for that! You've been there through my worst and most idiotic moments to my best moments and hopefully we will have more! I love you guys! <3 Miss you little fucktards sweeties(: xoxoxoxox
(you know who you are) :D

IT'S MY SISTER'S BIRTHDAY-> HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZARA BARA<3

Posted by Lams on 4:34 AM

Today, the 31st of October(also known as BOO day), is my dear little sister's birthday!! I just want to wish her the best this year and for the rest of her life because she only deserves the best in life(:
Zara: I miss you babe <3 You are my crazy, hyper, super sexii little sis! and I miss you tons. So have a blast and remember each day! and know that you are missed deeply
(: love you dearie xoxoxoxoxo

The Rocket Summer- So Much Love<3

Posted by Lams on 3:24 AM

This is my new 'jump on your bed hugging your teddy bear like its your crush' song(: ENJOY!

Please don't die. I would miss you too much

Posted by Lams on 1:58 AM

So two days ago, I had a dream where someone reallyyyyyyyyy close to me had died in a train accident and it broke my little heart. I woke up to find tears streaming down my face and I felt like someone had knocked the wind out of me. It was as if my world had stopped, because when I even think about my loved family and friends away from me forever, it shatters me. So I quickly went online to check and I found that my friend was safe, and alive, and online on msn. What a breather! Seriously I havent seen him yet, because Im on term break, but the next time I do see him, he is getting a HUGE BEAR HUG(:
I guess I was never able to handle the fact that my loved ones wont be around forever. Its okay when I think of my death, but thats different.
So yeah, I realized that this is why you should live as much as you can and LOVE as much as you can because you will never know if you have a tomorrow or not. You may never get that second chance. That is why if you love someone, tell them before its too late ( whether it be your parents, siblings, other family or friends or that special person). This could be a follow-up of my last post 'A walk to remember', but I guess I've really been realizing my priorities lately: that I should keep my family and friends close for as long as I have them around and let them know that I love them.

So hopefully if you are reading this, you'll get over all your drama and bullshit and learn to make peace? Because you never know if you might not get the chance later and might regret that you haven't been able to.

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Learning to Breathe-Switchfoot.

Posted by Lams on 3:20 PM

You make my heart melt. If only you knew

A walk to remember<3

Posted by Lams on 10:50 PM

This evening, I realized I haven't  watched 'A walk to remember' in a while, so I sat down with chocolates&a blanket& tissues (of course), and I watched it on Youtube. I had forgotten how much this movie meant to me. This movie was my support and hopes all through out 9th grade. 
Well, in short, I had gone through some feelings I've never experienced in that year: it could be called love, some might call it lust, some could call it infatuation, I call it innocence. I had taken on something I wasn't prepared to take on and neither was my heart prepared to bare. I attached myself completely, only to find it was worth nothing more than just hurt. Yet, to me,personally, it came as a good experience. Not because it made me stronger or wiser, but because I had the chance to feel such an emotion; such a rush going through my veins. 
This movie just makes me melt inside every single time& the book simply makes me die. For some strange reason I can connect to it, no matter what. It gives me some hope, that it can't be so bad, that there is a thing called love; that fuzzy warm feeling inside like butterflies in your stomach & that miracles do happen. I know all of this sounds childish, like I believe in fantasies or that life is a disney movie, but to simply put how I feel, this quote would be appropriate : 

" I'm not your princess,This ain't a fairytale, I'm going to find someone someday who might actually treat me well " -Taylor Swift, White Horse
                                                                                                      
Basically, what I'm trying to express is that even though we have been hurt before, it doesn't mean its the end; we all have a plan&purpose, and one day we will find that special someone(sooner or later), we just need to stop fighting destiny.
What does this have in relation to the movie?-Well, every time I was upset, I would sit down with chocolates to watch this movie and by the end of it, even though I cried all my tears out, it made me feel good. It was somehow a way of proving to myself that things could get worse. It also taught me that life is too short to be spent with tears all night and day and to complain about the bad things in life, instead this time should be spend to LIVE life and experience all sorts of things (some are not very enjoyable and may cause hurt but its part of the road). 
So yea...that was basically my little reminiscent of 'A walk to remember' and my lessons learnt with that movie   as the storyline of my life at that particular moment. If you happen to read this, and can relate to the pain, just know that life goes on and so should you, because you really don't know what is coming ahead and it could be the best thing that happens in your life. 

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they are right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust noone but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
— Marilyn Monroe

Reflection of life 2006-Now.

Posted by Lams on 5:33 PM

Right, so today, I felt like reflecting on the past few years of my life(lets start from the beginning of high school).
I guess I could say during this time, my life has a been an emotional roller coaster: 


1]moving from one country to another-after 3 years of finally getting adjusted in Ktm, Nepal, I MOVE TO SWEDEN. Its not like I dont like it here(infact I love it) but because I've moved so much in my life that was when I was hoping for some stability and RIGHT THEN we moved. So it kinda threw things off track for me. Of course, the leaving my friends part was the hardest, even after 16 years of experience, I still cant manage to make myself okay with the fact that I wont be seeing the people I've been seeing every single day for the past few years anymore.


2]my stupidity when it comes to 'love'- This is one of those topics where a "NO COMMENT" is probably the smartest thing to write. Although, I could add that because of all the fucked up things happening in my love life during the first three years of high school, I grew with more knowledge, sophistication, wisdom, and basically I grew over all(emotionally/mentally). Im also proud to say, that MOST of the people involved are still in my life, and still great friends if not greater. 


3]my best friend Margaret moving away to the States after 9th grade - I was incredibly lost after Maggie left. It was sort of like I didnt know who I belonged with anymore. I mean she was the one who was always there: through the shit, the randomness, the stupid jokes, the funny classic moments, the evil ideas; EVERYTHING. She was also there when I was lonely. The one thing I LOVE about her, is that whenever I used to be upset over guy troubles, she wouldnt be like a normal friend saying " aww honey, im so sorry, but dont be sad you deserve way better" ( in that pity voice that they usually use ), she would be saying " So? get over it. Its not the end of life. Get off your ass and do something about it. GAWSH!" lol and of course the occasional "YOU! BUTT!" or " Go stand in a corner!" xD *I shall never forget that day: final exam,break up, and my best friend bullying me around to get my mind off the break up shit.LOL typical YOU, Magz(: oh and of course Movie Night epicness* I MISS YOU.


4]high school drama bullshit (all throughout )- Friends no longer friends, Bitches, Backstabbers, Gossip Girls, Gossip 50 year old Aunty xD LMAO, a shitass teacher that I hate with all my might, "OMG, I think Lamiya loves me" says a general boy & " Just because I am nice to you DOESNT MEAN I FUCKING LOVE YOU >.<" says me. :D, jealousies -.-'', obsessed&crazy&manipulative boys( people that were there should know who I'm talking about), attention seeking whores, users&fakers, self-pitiers and the ones that try to act innocent to get pity when they are really devilish bitches who deserve to fucking crawl up in a hole and disappear*BERT moment* xD. yea lets leave the list there :)


5]studies pressure (IGSCES.yuck) - CAMBRIDGE EXAMINATIONS=NO LIFE > that says it all.. Oh yes and now I have chosen to do the IB course :/ kill me. 


6]a sudden realization of who my real friends are - 

    && more <3 and if I have left out your name, Im sorry, it wasnt on purpose :) and You are still loved by me :]

You-Switchfoot **makes my heart melt**

Posted by Lams on 4:12 PM

My life song<3

Posted by Lams on 4:08 PM